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Below are emails sent by Jim Bettis.

Keep him in your prayers.

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Hello everyone,

I hope this finds you all well and in the holiday spirit.

I am writing to inform you that we have decided on the following for my brother, Jimmy's Celebration of Life!!Memorial Service:

    Saturday, January 31st at 2:00 p.m.
    Avon Lake United Church of Christ
    32801 Electric Blvd.
    Avon Lake, OH  44012

We are asking for anecdotes to share during the service - when you are ready, you may send them to me at [email protected].

If you would like a moment to share your thoughts during the service, please let me know.

I hope this date is good for everyone. My family and I look forward to seeing you on January 31st.

With kind regards and best wishes,

Laurie/Rinky Bettis

Note: Jim's Sister

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Jim Passed away just before Thanksgiving

God Rest His Soul

**********************************************************


Date: Monday, November 3, 2008, 7:01 AM
Hello All,

In case you don't know me, I am Laurie/Rinky Bettis, Jim Bettis' older sister. He has come to live with me in his final hours/weeks/months, however long that is, and I am glad to have him. I hope you will allow me to keep you all abreast of what's happening via a group email, so that I don't have to remember each time who I need to contact.

You are welcome to send emails to Jim here at my email address: [email protected]. However, he has asked (and I ask as well) that you do not forward anything other than notes to him at this address. No "forwards", though well meaning, please. As it is, I get enough of those from my own well-meaning friends and would be hard pressed to do anything other than delete those coming from so many new contacts, as I already do with my own. So thank you, but no thank you. Okay?

That being said...

I am pleased to report that Jimmy (my term of endearment for my brother) is doing better after his hospice stay. He went in so that they could "make him more comfortable", and I do believe he is. The pain meds he is now taking are being given subcutaneously as opposed to orally, so they bypass his stomach, and they appear to be working. He has to carry his "medicine feed bag" with him everywhere he goes, but he seems to be okay with it. The downside is that the meds make him somewhat lethargic and slow to put his thoughts together. His eye blinks are slower, his speech is slower, he walks slower. But he's not in pain like he was, so I, for one, don't mind the trade.

Also, the nausea/vomiting appears to have ceased. At the hospital, where Hospice sent him to have X-Rays taken to find a possible blockage in his intestines, he was made to drink a barium (sp?) drink to coat the path so that X-Rays could show any obstruction. The X-Rays only went as far as the stomach exit and didn't show anything. I truly believe the "barium" had something to do with the change he has experienced. The day after he came home, he passed a large number of "stones" - which I got to see because they simply would not flush down the toilet! Oddest thing I've ever seen. Flush after flush, they kept coming back. White stones. After that, no more nausea/vomiting(!), no more hiccups(!) and he's back to eating(!) real food again, albeit in far smaller quantities. Now THIS is what I call  "making him more comfortable".

Let's hope it keeps up.

Until later then.

My regards,

Laurie/Rinky

******************************************************************

-----Original Message-----
From: james w stephens [mailto:[email protected]]
Sent: Tuesday, December 30, 2008 5:54 PM
To: [email protected]
Subject: USS CORRY (DD-817)

In April 2008 I met with Rabi James L. Mowery (formerly RD3 James L. Mowery)

in Cleveland, Ohio, we both visited with Jim Bettis for two days. He was
holding his own. You could tell he was in great pain. He always had problems
with the lack of taste for what ever he eat. He was still having problems
with vomiting also. After we departed I kept in touch with him via

He is truely a great loss.

YNC (SW)(RET) James W. Stephens, 3750 J W Stephens RD, Graceville, FL 32440

******************************************************************

--- On Tue, 10/21/08, Jim Bettis <[email protected]> wrote:
From: Jim Bettis <[email protected]>
Subject: My Termination


Hi All,
     Sorry to interrupt your day, but I feel a bit desparate to contact you all today. Please, if you're a shipmate, pass this on to others I might've unintentionally missed, or if you're family, please pass this on to other family members I may have unintentionally missed.
     Rinky and Jo Jo apparently stopped by last night to check on me. I have no recollection of their visit and it's quite possible that I had what is known as a "TIA" (Transcient Ischemic Attack) or a minor stroke. That's usually a precurser to a major stroke. I mention it because I don't "feel well" today and that's another warning sign. The way I feel today, makes me feel like I might just wake up dead tomorrow or sometime during the night.    
     I've tried to get my matters in order, so to speak, but there are a few left over. Like getting my fiances straight with Social Security and the retirement system, or getting the title to my car straight so that Joe Sumerak has his name on my title. I filled out all the power of attorney's and my Sister Laurie has full power of attorney, so she can still get Joe's name on my title, although it will be a little more hassle now because she'll need the death certificate...
     I'm trying to type this while battling acute nausea right now. Geez, I wish I'd just vomit and get it over with... If I DO die this evening, I hope you all won't be too upset about it. I mean, sure, I appreciate your feelings and your sympathies. I appreciate YOU for being family or close friends who care.
     I care for you too but we don't always get to pick the time or place. You can make my day by doing something kind for someone else. Some little thing that will make somebody smile, for no reason other than the fact that you're a decent, caring human being. There are just way too few people like that anymore. That will make my transition a lot easier and it will keep me warm onroute.
     I could've been a better Father, Brother, Uncle, Husband, Cousin, Shipmate, Lover, or Friend. If I had more time on this planet, I would be. You learn all these things way too late. Ya know, it doesn't take a lot to do that either. All it takes is a little effort. One little sacrifice. One moment in time when you think of others rather than yourself. I'm not pointing fingers, I'm just saying that's what I'd do if I had more time.
     The first half of my life, I did a lot of that and I'm very proud of that. The second half... well, I'm not so proud. I thought of myself more and I think that's where I went wrong. I felt a lot better about myself for the first half too. I helped people and went out of my way to try and make somebody elses life a little bit better. It's those little things that make the world a better place to live. Those little things that show you care more about others and not so much about yourself. It makes a difference. It really does.
     I'm not a real religious sort, but I believe in God and a Higher source. I believe that somewhere in this vast lifetime I've experienced, some greater power has noticed that I put fourth the effort to try and be a better person, despite all my prejudices and defects. I want to believe that the good things I've done in my life will give me more credit than the bad things I've done.
     I've elvaluated my life many times to determine where I stand with God. No, I didn't attend religious services on a regular basis. No, I didn't read the Bible and I didn't preach the word of the Lord. That doesn't make me a bad guy. I think the fact that I lived a good life and didn't intentionally hurt someone is worth something. That I've overcome some of my inner prejudices counts for something.
     We're all influenced by our life decisions. I've made some good decisions and some bad. Hopefully, more good than bad. Those of you who are deeply religious, I envy you the strength of your convictions. There's nothing wrong with believing with all your heart and soul. I just believe things a little differently than others.
     Anyway, I'm not writing to preach to anyone. I told some of you that I would contact you, IF I could, when I felt the time was near. I feel it now. I feel like my end is near. Could be today, tomorrow, next week, next month. But soon.
     You've all been a part of my life in some way and I want to take this opportunity (again) to tell you all how very much you mean to me. Yeah, I wasn't always there when you needed me or wanted me to be there. I'm sorry for that. I really am. brb. Sorry, had to vomit. Back... no wait...brb...
     Ok... gasp... Dry heaves. Sorry about that. It's times like this when I prefer to be alone. I don't want people to see me blow lunch. It's embarrassing. So, I'll end this shortly. I just wanted to THANK YOU. I really mean that. THANK YOU for sharing part of your life with me and helping me be a better person. We're all influenced by our experiences and by the people we've known. You have all influenced me in a positive way and made my life richer by letting me share in your life. So, I THANK YOU, sincerely, from the heart. Know that you can do that. KNOW that you have the ability to make this world a better place just by simple words or actions. I wish I could hug you all and let you know how you've affected me. Chances are, I probably should've died months ago, but that your kind words and thoughts helped tip the scales in my favor. I sincerely THANK YOU for that.
     So, if I wake up dead tomorrow, I hope my grattitude has gotten across to you and you KNOW how valuable you were/are to me. I'll try and watch over you all and aid you when I can. It's just in my nature. I am who I am because of you. THANK YOU.
     Sincerely and with all my heart,
                                                                Jim Bettis
    

 

I was emailing back and forth with Jim a week or so ago and he told me something that he agreed I could share with all of you. Jim was an HM2 while on the Corry, but at some time in his carrier has was, not a Navy Seal but had to train with them and pass all the test, one that shows how tough a man he is was done in a swimming pool, I think it was 15 foot or so deep, they tied a 50 pound weight on him and tossed him in the pool, they told him they would not pull him out until he was dead, then they would revive him. The only way to survive was to sink to the bottom and hold your breath as long as you could the swim to the top and get fresh air in your lungs then repeat the process, the test lasted one full hour, HE DID IT, I sure I would have been a goner.... Jerry

The email below was originally sent only to those that were on the ship at the same time Jim was, we are all brothers regardless of age or times, that same ole pile of iron has bound us together forever.

 
Jim's address is at the end of the email.... Jerry, webmaster, USS Corry DD817
 
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Hi ALL,
     Some of you already got the word, but forgive me if I'm repeating myself. Rinky and I went to the Doctor's office today to learn of the results of the CT Scan last Friday. I'd been having abdominal pain all month and it was getting worse. So, he ordered a CT Scan for last Friday to determine my condition. The doctor beat around the bush again and Rinky finally asked him what my condition was. He replied that the cancer is now worse than before, accounting for the pain and discomfort I've been experiencing for the last month. He suggested I explore Hospice now or a very slim chance of trying another chemo treatment. The problem with the latter is that they use the best chemo drugs initially and the second round is usually ineffective but there is a remote chance it might help.
     The impression I got from the doctor wasn't good. It's like he's telling me that I'm going downhill fast. I don't quite feel it's THAT bad as yet, although I have to agree I've been worse than when I was on chemo. Part of the reason I feel so lousy is due to my right shoulder injury from the Navy, not at all related to the cancer. But, undoubtedly, the cancer is worse and I guess, is progressing.
     I'm not sure about Hospice care just yet, but I'll look into it over the next few weeks and see about getting hospice care at home. Right now, I'm still able to care for myself but it would be nice to have a nurse close by when the pain gets to be a bit much. Karen, the Oncology nurse gave me a prescription for a double dose of the fentanyl patch which really helped this time, to get rid of the abdominal pain. I only wish it would've affected my right shoulder arthritis, which is very painful.
     It kind of scares me a bit, not knowing what to expect over the next six months. I was in the middle of a conversation with the doctor when the nausea suddenly hit and I had to grab a trash can and threw up repeatedly. That's how it happens, no warning, just nausea and vomiting... geez..
     I didn't expect him to tell me the cancer had returned or was worse. I thought it was an intestinal problem that might or might not have been related to the cancer. Sigh... Oh well, I guess these things are to be expected. He also wrote me a prescription for a very large bottle of liquid Morphine, which kind of suprised me. 100cc... That's quite a bit! Is he not telling me everything?
     Anyway, right now, my stomach pain is under control with the Fentanyl patch. Of course, nothing helps my ability to eat but I now know that I have to really pay close attention to my weight to last longer. Problem is, it hurts after I eat something and that kind of acts as a deterrent to eating. I'm just going day by day.
     Again, I have to rethink my situation and that may bring big changes for the future. So you all know, I got a letter from the retirement folks in Columbus saying that based on my doctor's paperwork, I have been accepted for disability retirement. They will set an appointment date for a followup exam with their physicians a year from now. So I guess this has all come as kind of an unexpected suprise for me. I just thought I was experiencing a sort of complication... Oh well, that's life.
     The good thing about lasting a longer time is that it gives everyone a chance to come to terms with my demise. I guess that's better than if I had just dropped dead of a cardiac arrest. I didn't ask "How Long" he might think I have as of this date, but I'll assume I have at least six more months. I guess it all depends on how well my body handles it. Sure wish I could tell you all what happens afterwards. I'm not depressed or feeling down about it. Just a little disappointed.
     I'll keep you posted as things happen or change. I'm not looking for sympathy. I think most of you know I'm an open book and it might help you and others later if you have friends or family who run into the same type of condition. Maybe some of the things I'm going through will help somebody else.
     God has been good to me this summer. I may not have told you but I had a chat with him back in May and asked for a mild summer. We got it. I'm happy for that. Maybe I should ask for a mild winter too. I thought about asking for the Brown's to make it to the Super Bowl, but, let's be reasonable. I don't think God would find that request to be feasible...

���� Still, we CAN dream...  And Paulie, should you read this, I was cheering for the Steelers last night... I'm glad they won. My best to all of you. Jim     

 

*************************************************************************

Hi Jim,
     I hope you don't mind if I write you as you seem to be able to disseminate info to the guys... I had an absolutely miserable time last wednesday night. I'd most definitely say I was suffering. I couldn't eat, sleep, swallow, burp or vomit. I was in pain and couldn't find relief. I considered calling 911 but held off, since I was scheduled for my first chemo treamtent in the morning (Thursday). I managed to drive to the cancer center, which is directly across from the hospital I go to.
     My appointment was for 9:15AM and I have to say I was very unstable. I shook spasmodically, drooled uncontrollably and was in general pain and absolutely miserable. My Oncologist and nurse came to evaluate me and held off the chemo until late in the day, because I was so unstable. I finally managed to throw up, and of course, there was nothing in my stomach but air. But It felt incredibly wonderful. Every time I'd swallow, I'd gulp air and I couldn't belch, so I couldn't relieve the pressure.
     They started me on Morphine and then the chemo before transfering me to the hospital for admission. They then contacted my Oncologist who saw me later Thursday night. He told me I had two options. One was a surgical procedure installing a peg tube, which is an outside tube that connects to my stomach and feeds me for nutrition. That's all fine and well, except that it wouldn't address the pain, drooling, and misery I was experiencing with my esophagus.
     The second option was an experimental procedure whereby he would place a large metal stent into the lower portion of my esophagus and into the upper portion of my stomach, thereby allowing me to eat like a normal human being. Obviously, I jumped on that option. The drawback is that the stent obstructs the GES (gastroesophageal sphincter) or flap at the bottom of the esophagus. Since the stent would obstruct it, I'd be able to eat ok, but laying down flat would mean anything in my stomach could come back up. So, it's almost like saying I'd throw up if I laid to far flat. Not very pleasant, but still, a much better option.
     So, I had the procedure done Friday afternoon and by Friday night, I was eating ice cream and jello (the first food in 4 days!). So, I'm a happy camper. They released me today (Saturday) so that I can be home for the holiday. I'm on liquid morphine and Vicodin and a zillion other meds. Naturally, I don't like the meds, but, I'm currently alive and able to be home so I'm content with that...
     I want to thank all our shipmates for their kind thoughts and support. It just goes to show you, that those bonds we made so many years ago are still strong. Thanks from the heart! Jim Bettis

*************************************************************************

Hi Jim
     I've had a few shipmates write me to inquire as to my condition, since I haven't written anyone in a spell. So, I'll update my status as of July n10th, 2008.
     Tomorrow I start my 6th round of chemo. I'm doing pretty good, considering. The biggest problems I have are generalized weakness, intermittant nausea and vomiting and the side effects of the chemo. I can function fine, but slowly. My blood pressure is still unusually low, which means if I exert myself, I could pass out. Weird. The Oncologist politely reminds me that there is no cure for the type of cancer I have. Very encouraging. But, I don't FEEL like I'm dying. Aside from the side effects and feeling a bit weak, I feel fine. I've been able to maintain my weight around 170-175lbs, which is what I feel is critical to my survival.
     The Gastroenterologist found that my ulcer was completely gone and that the tumor in my stomach had shrunken considerably. Those are positive signs. I'm supposed to have metastasis to the liver, spleen, lungs and to the lymphatic system. However, I've felt no tenderness at all to the lymphatic system so I tend to question those conclusions. Of course, it could well be that the chemo has affected the spread of the cancer too. I somehow feel I'll last quite a bit longer than predicted.
     I have a 6" experimental metal stent in place in my stomach which allows me to eat fairly normally, although I can't sleep laying flat. I've been told that it might be possible to remove that should I go into remission. That would be nice, so I could burp like a man again and be able to eat completely normally again.
     I said before that I wouldn't let the disease dictate my life. That's partially true. I've been out kayaking and I still go fishing, but, the effort it takes is exhausting at times so I guess I have to say it HAS had an affect on my activities. But then, that's to be expected. I still persevere.
     I want to say thank you to all those shipmates who wrote me and offered support. It's sure swell to know I had so many friends. Thank you doesn't express my feelings enough. Your kind thoughts have helped me immensely throughout this ordeal and I truly appreciate it. Your prayers and positive thoughts have been an enormous uplift for me. Again, I thank you from the heart.
     I hope that you all live a long and healthy life and enjoy your retirement and golden age. Keep in touch and we'll all see each other aboard the Corry in another life. My very best to all of you.

     Sincerely,
                           Jim Bettis  (HM2)

**************************************************************************

Hello Shipmates and good friends,
     Ok, I guess I should update you all in one fell swoop so I don't have to repeat myself. As some of you know, I was having stomach problems in January. Then on February 20th, I had a sudden, massive heart attack. Yep... It sure as hell happened. I tried telling the doctors that I'm not supposed to have heart attacks because I as a Medic, but it didn't wash...
     Ok, they fixed my heart and all was well.... Ok, maybe not so well. I was still losing weight and having trouble eating. So, they had me see a gastroenterologist and he ran an endoscopy. well, wouldn't you know it? Turns out I have an ulcer with a mass just below my esophagus. Yeah, it's cancerous and Stage IV and it metastasized already. From the pathology report, it looks to have spread to the liver, spleen and lungs already, not to mention it's in my lymphatic system. In case you don't know, that tends to be a really fast way to die. Like about 3-4 months. I asked the guy how much time I had left and he said maybe 6 months to a year...I think that's exaggerating it quite a bit. Especially for lymphatic cancer.
     Some of you know that I had a gift for diagnostics. I still do. And while I've always seemed to defy medical science, I would esimate that I probably have about 3-4 months left. Right now, I'm down to about 170lbs and if I can't maintain that weight, my time will be a lot shorter. But you should know, I'm not in the least bit worried or concerned. As if I could care... I don't. The only thing that bugs me is it hurts after I swallow... aside from that, I won't do anything different than I ever did. IF I die, I die. No big deal. It's just another adventure. I just wanted to write you all and emphasize that YOU have all had a significant affect on my life in some way. I value your friendship and our experiences together. I'm not throwing in the towel, per say. I'm still hoping that I'll be able to retire on SSN and make it back to Alaska and build my cabin before I drop off. I wouldn't be unusual for ME to survive three or four years beyond what they say I will. It's just the nature of my life. If I go sooner, so be it. I've had a good life and I don't want to sound negative, but I've served my purpose. So, don't fret over it. I just hope that when the memories strike you sometime and you think of me, it will make you smile as you remember some great times we had together. That's enough for me. I may live for a lot longer, but just to be safe, I wanted to take the time NOW, to say goodbye. Thanks for sharing in my life. Love, Jim
Jim Bettis <[email protected]>
Hi Jim,
     I hope you don't mind if I write you as you seem to be able to disseminate info to the guys... I had an absolutely miserable time last wednesday night. I'd most definitely say I was suffering. I couldn't eat, sleep, swallow, burp or vomit. I was in pain and couldn't find relief. I considered calling 911 but held off, since I was scheduled for my first chemo treamtent in the morning (Thursday). I managed to drive to the cancer center, which is directly across from the hospital I go to.
     My appointment was for 9:15AM and I have to say I was very unstable. I shook spasmodically, drooled uncontrollably and was in general pain and absolutely miserable. My Oncologist and nurse came to evaluate me and held off the chemo until late in the day, because I was so unstable. I finally managed to throw up, and of course, there was nothing in my stomach but air. But It felt incredibly wonderful. Every time I'd swallow, I'd gulp air and I couldn't belch, so I couldn't relieve the pressure.
     They started me on Morphine and then the chemo before transfering me to the hospital for admission. They then contacted my Oncologist who saw me later Thursday night. He told me I had two options. One was a surgical procedure installing a peg tube, which is an outside tube that connects to my stomach and feeds me for nutrition. That's all fine and well, except that it wouldn't address the pain, drooling, and misery I was experiencing with my esophagus.
     The second option was an experimental procedure whereby he would place a large metal stent into the lower portion of my esophagus and into the upper portion of my stomach, thereby allowing me to eat like a normal human being. Obviously, I jumped on that option. The drawback is that the stent obstructs the GES (gastroesophageal sphincter) or flap at the bottom of the esophagus. Since the stent would obstruct it, I'd be able to eat ok, but laying down flat would mean anything in my stomach could come back up. So, it's almost like saying I'd throw up if I laid to far flat. Not very pleasant, but still, a much better option.
     So, I had the procedure done Friday afternoon and by Friday night, I was eating ice cream and jello (the first food in 4 days!). So, I'm a happy camper. They released me today (Saturday) so that I can be home for the holiday. I'm on liquid morphine and Vicodin and a zillion other meds. Naturally, I don't like the meds, but, I'm currently alive and able to be home so I'm content with that...
     I want to thank all our shipmates for their kind thoughts and support. It just goes to show you, that those bonds we made so many years ago are still strong. Thanks from the heart! Jim Bettis
 

Jim Bettis [email protected]

Sent to Jim Shaftic from Jim Bettis

Hi Jim,

     I thought I'd best drop a line and update you and my shipmates on my medical condition. First,I've undertone 2.5 chemo treatments. I'm currently going through the third. I have to tell you, chemo is no fun. It makes you sick as a dog and kind of ruins your mental outlook on life. The first treatment I tolerated well. It took four days for the side effects of the chemo to kick in and then it hit me full force.
     The second treatment was much more severe. The side effects kicked in immediately and I was constantly nauseated and vomited every day. I later developed fever and chills, night sweats, insomnia and anxiety attacks. It finally got so bad that I called the Oncologist and said enough. NO MORE CHEMO.
     I had to go in and talk to him and we argued over my quality of life. I was angry because he didn't HEAR what I was telling him. He told me that most people don't tolerate such a severe dosage. I repeatedly told him "I'm NOT TOLERATING IT!!!!" I insisted on taking a break from the chemo and all drugs.
     He was adamant about me not stopping my cardiac drugs but I argued that I didn't NEED them. I also told him that my ulcer had healed (I could FEEL it) and that my stomach tumor had shrunken. Of course he argued that we can't KNOW that because we can't SEE it. So, I suggested he call the Gastroenterologist and set up another endoscopy and find out for sure.
     The following day, I had another upper endoscopy and it confirmed that the ulcer was completely gone and, that the tumor had shrunken significantly. He said I was in partial remission. But you have to understand what the true meaning of THAT is. It means the cancer has been stunned, but is not dead. It could start up again or go into hybernation. Thus, he wants to run another 6-8 courses of chemo (That's a bit excessive I feel) to push my cancer into total remission. We'll see..
     Meanwhile, I'm 10 days into my third chemo treatment. Yesterday was the first day I didn't vomit. It's been very cool here in Ohio so I haven't been able to get into my kayak as yet because one of the side effects of chemo is acute sensitivity to cold. It affects my hands, feet and jaw. I need the sun to pop out and warm up the water so I can enter the river and get into my long kayak... I'm thinking of trying plastic bags on my feet just until I can get into my kayak... Then I can go fishing for "Big Mo" in the channel of Rocky River... I'm still battling the nausea and stomach ache, but aside from that I'm doing ok...
     I appreciate all the well wishing and prayers from all my shipmates. As you can see, it made a big difference. YOU are the ones repsonsible for my ulcer healing and for the diminished size of my cancerous tumor. I thank you sincerely, from the heart. I will update you as I progress. Again thanks to you and all my shipmates for your kind thoughts. It is graciously appreciated.
     Sincerely,
                              Jim Bettis HM2